The Joy of Twins

This week I have been thinking a lot about the dynamics of twins. We rarely refer to Adalie and Jackson as twins, and we never call them 'the twins.' We decided early on that it would be better to use names and not lump them together because they are so obviously two different people. I decided to do this post because I have noticed that there are some amazing dynamics in their relationship because they are twins.  There have been difficulties and there have been many joys in having twins. I wanted to get my musings down in our journal.

Having twins has been one of the toughest challenges to my parenting and it may not be for the reasons you think.  The first challenge was that blur of the first year! Adalie and Jackson were born full term (37 weeks) when Evelyn was 19 months old. This was a blessing because there was only a random three day period of jealousy on her part and it was nice because she was very mild mannered.  This timing was difficult because she was still in a very needy stage of life.  Looking back on it I wouldn't have it any other way! A, J, and E all have an extremely close relationships and I wouldn't change that for the world (more on that later).

Adalie and Jackson were both borderline colic.  They would tag team their crying.  Seriously.  Jack would stop and Adalie would pick up where he left off and vice-versa.  At this point I thought it must have been a sixth sense or something. :) In my journal I wrote that I was literally jogging from one task to the other to try to do everything I was needed for.  Also, when you look at the family videos we took you can always hear someone crying in the background.  It was a crazy time and I am a little bit sad that it is such a blur.  I am happy that we made it out of that stage!

One of my personal twin realizations is that, for me, it is very difficult to have one-on-one time with them.  I feel that I am good at taking each kid aside to have personal Momma time,  but for some reason it is tougher with these two!  I have thought hard to try and figure out why this happens.  Adalie and Jackson are two VERY different individuals and it doesn't seem like there should be a problem.  I wonder if it is because when they are together it is very difficult to separate just one of them.  I also wonder if it IS because they are so different.  Maybe I have a 'one-size-fits-all' mentality because they are the same age.  I am not sure.  This is something I just figure out because I think it is so important.

A and J have the cutest relationship!  They are practically inseparable.  Through observing I have come to a huge conclusion about this.  Many of you may say 'duh, of course that is a major factor,' but I just realized it.  There is a major factor for all siblings who are not twins.  There is an automatic leader and follower that naturally comes with age.  The older child assumes that he or she is the 'boss' because of the age gap alone, and this can cause tension, bossiness, and power plays in their interactions.  There is almost none of these in A and J's relationship.  I have never seen such equal share of power between siblings.  They just 'get' each other, and as I observe them I notice little ways they manage to share the power.  They literally take turns making decisions and they equally decide on activities they want to do.   I have also noticed that other people have a difficult time breaking into their little duo.  Evelyn has struggled with this and I can definitely see why.  She can inadvertantly disrupt the power play because she is older and feels that she has more responsiblity to control playtime.  Lately she has been searching out Maren for a playmate, and they are growing pretty close.

I need to insert in here that Adalie and Evelyn have a great relationship together with their similarities as 'the girls,' and Jackson and Evelyn have a great relationship as 'the explorers.'  They seek each other out and gravitate when there is something to explore or to go out and do.  I have observed this for a long time now!  A, J, and E spend a lot of time playing together and having a great time. There are a few squabbles, but they are pretty inseperable most of the time.  Recently, I have noticed occasional separation into groups of two (A and J, and E and M).

In the past Maren has been the little lone explorer at our house.  She enjoys playing alone and sometimes it is difficult to break in and play with her.  In the last month I have seen this change. She has been more welcomed into the group of the older three.  She follows them around and they enjoy including her in their play time!

I have to also insert that this is what I have observed so far in their little lives, and these connections and roles probably will change as they get older.  They have room to change. :)

Cute stories about A and J:

About three times a week I will see Adalie or Jackson spontaneously run up to the other, hug, and announce, "You are my best friend!."  This has been going on for some time now, and I love it every time!

This week I was having Momma time and playing puzzles with A and J.  Jackson was whizzing through our pile of soft brick puzzles while Adalie was struggling with hers.  Adalie mentioned that she needed help and before I could respond Jackson was at her side and encouraging her to do it.  He talked her through doing a few pieces until she was back on track, then he told her he was proud of her and sat back down.  He was very sweet and patient with her!  I was a proud Mom.

After playing puzzles for a while we got out our Uno game.  Adalie and Jackson were very good sports and Adalie ended up winning and she was thrilled.  Jackson grinned, gave her a high five, and told her he was happy that she won.  We started the next game and he announced, "I hope Adalie wins again!"
(This good sportsmanship is not always the case, but it was darn cute).

Logan quote, "Adalie speaks in run on sentences and Jackson speaks in fragments.  When you put them together you have a cohesive conversation."  A few weeks ago I joined the Sunbeam teacher to team teach (the class is huge), and I noticed a time when the teacher didn't understand Jackson.  After class I approached her and let her know that Jack was very patient and would gladly repeat himself if she asked.  She responded that she had difficulty understanding Jackson, but she also had difficulty understanding Adalie because she runs her words together.  I told this story to Logan and he mentioned that ever since that time he has had more difficulty understanding Adalie! Jackson has a very staccato way of speaking and the words he uses are well pronounced while Adalie runs words together and never speaks for less than three minutes at a time.

I also have to mention here that I am glad Adalie and Jack are starting to look more like twins!  I remember going to the doctor for their one year check up and Adalie was in the 99th percentile for weight and Jackson was below the chart!  They definitely did not look like twins! Adalie has lost some of her baby fat and Jackson has grown and now they finally are looking more alike.  They are very cute together.

I love watching my kids grow up, develop relationships with each other, and grow their personalities.

Here are some random pictures from our week:

Griffin and Ashland gave us an excellent cook book for Christmas!  The kids are planning our weekly new recipe, then they will get to take turns helping us make them.

At night the kids have the choice to brush their own teeth or have one of us 'brush them like a dentist.' Evelyn got in on the action and Maren was a willing participant.