Can I make a confession? I don’t really like winter. It’s not all bad, of course. I like sledding and skiing (when I can afford it), and for some reason, hot chocolate and scones and fireplaces and warm blankets and old movies and family board games all seem to be so much more meaningful during this cold and dark season. I like those parts. Overall though, despite these wonderful things, winter just isn’t my favorite time. Sometimes I think I could do without it.

But not really.

Because winter also means something else- despite my dislike toward the season, I have to admit that it plays an important role to me that I could not replace with anything else. Winter, to me, means change. It is a cycle that I love watching and being a part of each year- the hope and newness of spring, followed by the slow and lazy summer, leading into the brisk and hurried autumn, all to be washed out in the cold, sleepy darkness of winter. But because of winter- because of this darkness- there will always be a spring. And spring wouldn’t be spring without winter, and neither would summer, or fall. And this cycle just keeps repeating again, and again, and again.

For this reason, winter HAS to exist for me, or the cycle gets stuck. And when things get stuck, then something happens that is more dreadful and scarier than even the coldest, windiest, and bleakest of days. Without winter, life becomes dull. Because as much as I love summer, an endless summer would eventually seem…well…endless. It would get boring. No change means that I would never get to enjoy new beginnings, or look back with fond memories on good times past. And summer? Well, summer would just sort of lose meaning altogether, as one day would fade into the next with no purpose or significance whatsoever. Really, as good as it sounds at times, the joys of summer, without change, would quickly fade into a bright and warm and wonderful…nothingness. And that is scary.

And so I embrace winter. I try my best to find ways to enjoy it, and I have found that by doing this it can actually be pretty tolerable, and even fun at times. But more importantly, to me, winter gives vitality to life in all its seasons. Winter gives me a reason to hold out till spring, and to bask in the warmth of summer, and to breathe in the crisp smells of Autumn. Winter, not in spite of, but BECAUSE of its darkness and my own dislike for it, becomes a momentous occasion in its own right. And so as much as I hate winter, I love it. All of it.

Does that make sense? Probably not- and I totally recognize that there are people of a different ilk who think that I am crazy for these “chilling” thoughts (get it?). But not me. Maybe it turns out in the end that different people like different things. Crazy, I know. Just my own musings for the week.

Anyway- on to more interesting things. Our kids.

On Wednesday I got a call from Evelyn’s school. She had head lice and needed to go home. Since my office is just two blocks away, I quickly went and picked her up and then brought her back to work with me where she did homework and watched movies until Rachel could come get her. That day after I finished up with my last patient, I went to Wal-Mart and bought an arsenal of lice-killing paraphernalia and prepared to wage war at our home. 3 tubes of medicated shampoo, 5 cans of lice spray, endless hours of hair combing, mountains of laundry, and lots of tears and screams later we felt we had finally won. These lice didn’t stand a chance. That night, Rachel and I got a babysitter and went out on a double-date with friends. Inwardly, we congratulated ourselves on our quick and decisive victory. We are awesome.

The next day I took Evelyn to school (she wasn’t allowed to ride the bus until she was cleared by the school nurse) and waited anxiously as the person at the front office ran a pencil through Evelyn’s hair looking for signs of bugs, eggs, or nits. I’m not sure why I was nervous, but after a careful and thorough inspection she was finally pronounced “clean” and I cheerfully waved goodbye as she headed out to the playground. Yep. These bugs were “in the bag,” so to speak. I high-fived myself on the way out to my car (which must’ve looked pretty awkward to anyone who was watching) and went about my day with an air of a champion.

Two hours later, she was back in my office doing homework and watching movies. I think we celebrated too early. The battle continues. Bugs=1. Hazards=0.

As for me, things are going good. I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had joined a climbing group who goes out together a couple times each week. I’ve made a lot of friends and connections through this group, and I am excited to have met some really good climbers and cool people to do bigger trips with. This year, climbing has really entered back into my life to a degree that hasn’t been there since my high-school days. I have done more “hard” climbs (5.12 and up) this year than ever before, I am in better shape than ever before, and I am a more confident leader than ever before. It’s been a lot of fun. I have even started training specifically for the sport, and I am interested to see where my limits are as a “weekend-warrior” who has a lot of other hats to wear during the week as well.

The campus board I made for the shop

Even Lindsey helps me train!

Rachel has also had a good week. She has joined a group of women- all moms of young children- who go out regularly and do stuff with each other. A lot of times they do play-dates at the park, or at someone’s house. Other times they do retreats just for the moms (no kids allowed) where they socialize with one-another on a more adult level. This week I took the kids for a night while Rachel went out with some of these friends to play “artist” for the evening. The way I understand it, they all painted the same picture (maybe with a little instruction?) while at the same time indulging in the luxury of culinary bliss…or something like that. Anyway, they had fun, and Rachel did a pretty good job on her painting which hangs in our bathroom. Now, every time I step out of the shower, I can feel like rather than being in the privacy of my home, I am instead stepping out of a Japanese public bath surrounded by cherry-blossoms. I only think about this sometimes, but it’s strangely liberating when I do J

Besides her ladie's night, Rachel also had an interpreting conference. Originally she wasn't planning on going because it was a little too expensive and she didn't need any more CE for her license. At the last minute another interpreter had an emergency come up, and rather than forfeit her spot she gave her ticket to Rachel for the entire weekend! For those who know Rachel, you will know that she loves these conferences, and it was a nice surprise for her to be able to go. I think she had fun.

Last, but not least, I’ll post a few pictures of the fair. We have sort of started a tradition on Fridays that I take the kids and meet Rachel after work at some sort of fun or interesting place. Last week, this place was the Spokane Valley Fair, and the kids had a blast. I did too. I like fairs (see the last post), and I especially like live music. I think we’ll keep this tradition going for a long time.

Well- I feel like that was a really long blog post. If you made it all the way through, then congratulations! (Or maybe “I’m sorry” is more appropriate). Anyway, thanks for reading- have a good week!

Oh…one more thing (I almost forgot). Heartwood Family Dental had its two-year anniversary this week. It’s been a great two years. We all went out to celebrate, and I have to say that the people I work with are some of the best, hardest working, and funnest people to be around that I know. Thanks to my team for making these some of the best years of my life. It’s been a good run. I actually took a picture of this celebration lunch, but this picture was lost when I broke my phone jumping into the river to save Adalie's life (seriously). Oh well- obviously, Adalie is more important. Just know that it was a good picture though.

"A-six-year-old, five-year-old-twins, a-two-year-old, and-a-newborn" is enough to raise eyebrows pretty much anywhere I go around here. It's a lot of kids.

But then I stop, and think, and my own eyes open wide. Did I really just say "FIVE-YEAR-OLD twins?" Has it really been that long since we walked in the doors of the hospital to meet "noodle" and "twitch" for the first time? Wow.

Obviously, Adalie and Jackson had a great week.It was their birthday on Tuesday, and it got stretched out all week. We had a family party that night, where they got presents. They had parties the next couple of days in their pre-school where they got cupcakes. And then we had the big party on Saturday with 19 people over at our house celebrating these two very special kids. It's been an exciting time.

Rachel made this cake- I think it's pretty good.

Besides the birthdays, there have been a few other things going on around our house lately. Namely:

The great Autumn clean-up is continuing. More loads to the dumpster. More loads to Goodwill. More breathing space in our home. More smiles all around. Ahhhh- it feels good!

Addy and Jack and Evelyn gave me a stick for my birthday. Yes- a stick. They were very excited about it too. I made this with it, and for now it hangs in our living room. We'll see how long that lasts :).

This girl is on the elementary school x-country team/club. They don't really compete, but they do meet and socialize and practice and stuff. Evelyn said she really liked it- everything except for the part where she had to run. But she wants to stick with it because she also says it is fun- especially the running part. In either case, she is good at it. I think I understand where she is coming from because I have the same love/hate relationship with running that she is starting to develop. It's interesting what we do to ourselves, isn't it.

Rachel and I went on some dates. On Thursday we went and watched the BYU football game while enjoying a pizza together. It's been a while since I've watched BYU play, and the experience was somewhat nostalgic of our courtship where we used to go together to the home games and cheer our hearts out. Those were good times then. These are good times now. I guess there is nothing quite like watching a bunch of guys beat the crap out of each other over a funny-shaped leather ball to cement a marriage into place.

Here's one from the archives- 2004 at the BYU stadium. The ten years that came after this picture was taken have been the best years of my life.

We also went to the Spokane fair where we enjoyed the various shows, booths, displays, and competitions. I don't really consider myself to be very "country," but the atmosphere of a fair just does something to me. I don't know if it is the smell of fried food mixed with cow manure and diesel fuel, or the competing sounds of live music and people shouting and old rides running. Maybe it's the sights of people walking every which way, some vying for your attention and some not caring at all, or the vividness in which the entire scene is bathed in the dim twilight as the sun slowly sinks beyond the horizon and the brisk autumn air is filling your lungs. But whatever it is, it's a great feeling- especially when you are walking hand-in-hand with the girl who means more to you than the entire universe and all worries seem to slip away and things are just...perfect. For one brief instant that is gone if you blink, there seems to be nothing that matters except for that moment, and you just wish it could last forever. That, to me, is the fair. I love it.

Anyway- have a great week!

Crazy Lindsey Story

It all began when Nancy and I went together for Lindsey's first check-up.  Lindsey had been having trouble keeping her temperature warm enough and I brought up my concern with the doctor.  He took her temp and when it came out to 74 degrees he immediately ordered some testing and our visit turned into a three hour ordeal! A catheter was ordered for Lindsey and she managed to pee on the table right before the tube was inserted.  They tried anyway and needless to say they were not able to gather enough liquid for testing.  We then went into the lab to get blood work done.  After digging around multiple times in each arm it was determined that Lindsey needed a break (so did I!) and I fed her.  Another attempt was made without success and it was determined that the blood was going to be collected through a heel prick instead of a clean catch through her vein. We then headed down the hall to the doctor’s office again for a second attempt at a catheter.  Immediately as we opened her diaper she peed on the table again!  They were, however, able to collect barely enough urine for testing. All told she peed on the table three times during her visit and she pooped on the table twice.  I joked with the doctor that she was just showing off how healthy she was.

Fast forward to two days later at midnight.  I had just fed Lindsey and was getting dressed for bed when the phone rang. It was the doctor.  She told me that bacteria had been discovered in Lindsey's blood and that we had to get to the hospital right away!  Lovely.

I arrived at 12:30 groggy but anxious.  The nurses informed me that bacteria in the blood is very scary and it was wonderful that we caught it early.  The bad news was we would need to stay in the hospital for seven to ten days for Lindsey to receive the antibiotics intravenously. Wow.  I was so relieved that she would get the help she needed, and I was very grateful that Greg and Nancy were here to watch the other kids while I was at the hospital.  

The first order of business was to wake up our sweet girl and give her another catheter and begin an I.V. line.  The doctor arrived shortly after these were finished.  She proceeded to tell me that Lindsey would be receiving two antibiotics, one was completely safe, but the other one could cause irreversible hearing loss.  Ack!  At my surprise she huffed that the benefits definitely outweigh the risks of not treating the infection.  After speaking with three nurses it was confirmed that through their combined 42 years of experience there was only one case where this actually happened.  It was also confirmed that this combination of antibiotics is used very routinely (4 people in the pediatric ward were currently using it).  It was also confirmed that this doctor was sleep deprived and grumpy because she had to wake up to come and see us.  

Fast forward to the end of the story.  Three days after our arrival we were released. The new blood sample and urine sample both came up clean.  It was determined that the blood sample from the lab was contaminated because it was a heel prick and not a clean catch.

The moral of the story- I am extremely grateful for modern medicine and the prompt attention that was given to Lindsey.  If this had been an emergency situation it was handled very well by the medical personnel involved.  The second moral of the story is to have insurance!  And finally- I was secretly glad for those three days that I had uninterrupted time with my new little girl.

Lindsey's Arrival

Our Hazard family is now complete, and it is finally time to write about it. (This is a retrospective blog about Lindsey's birth- please scroll down for a blog about this week).

Lindsey Kaylin Hazard made her grand entrance into this world on July 3, 2014.  Nancy and Greg arrived the night before to take care of our other littles while Lindsey made her debut. On Thursday Logan and I drove to the hospital, checked in, and had a few minutes to ourselves before being taken in for the c-section.  

Lindsey's birth (from my vantage point) was the easiest and smoothest of the four.  I was completely relaxed, I knew what to expect, and I felt as ready as I was ever going to be.  The doctor made the initial incision and I heard an audible gasp from the doctor and the assisting nurses.  They all started talking at once and it soon became apparent that my uterus was in pretty bad shape.  I later found out that when the incision was opened little Lindsey's face was peeking out through my uterus.  Logan told me that it looked like she was surrounded by what appeared to be a plastic wrap coating.  Yes. That was my uterus.  The doctor expressed that he was very happy to hear we had planned on this being our final pregnancy.  I told him about my mom and how her uterus had been tissue paper thin when I was born (my brother and I are 10 1/2 months apart).  The doctor responded, "Yours was thinner."  Wow. I am grateful that both of us are safe and healthy!

She was born weighing 7 lbs. 4 oz. and was 20.75 inches long.  This was my first birth where I thought up a 'birth plan.'  I think it is pretty crazy to have extensive expectations, but I did have a few things I thought would be nice.  I think I was pretty easy going.  My plan was as follows:

1. Please hold Lindsey up for a second after she is born so that I can get a quick peek, but if she needs quick attention don't worry about it! Do what you need to do. I didn't get to see Evelyn because she was in distress (much later I found out she was very blue when she was born and needed immediate assistance), or Jack because he needed quick attention as well.

2. I would love to hold Lindsey, if possible, while the c-section was being finished up.

3. Please snap at least one picture.

I mentioned these at the beginning and we were able to do all three! My favorite part was cuddling with her while the c-section was completed.  This is generally my least favorite part of the experience, but I quite enjoyed it this time around.

I spent a few short days in the hospital recovering and spending sweet quiet moments with Lindsey.  I had a few things I wanted to do while at the hosptial (write this blog entry for one thing), but toward the end of my stay I realized that my brain was in a kind of mental fog and I wasn't completely there.  It was strange to come out of it and recognize that it had been there because I couldn't tell at the time. 

Here are some highlights of the week with Nancy and Greg, and the week with my mom.

• Really easy recovery.  I hardly even needed Ibuprophen after I left the hospital.
• I enjoyed a lot of quiet moments to myself, and sweet moments with Lindsey when family was here taking care of the kids and the house.
• One night I woke up and panicked because I could tell I felt refreshed, and I thought I had slept too long and something was wrong with Lindsey!  It made me realize that it had been a long time since I felt rejuvenated after sleep.
• Nancy and Greg came the day before Lindsey arrived and stayed for ten enjoyable days.
• My mom came the next Monday and stayed for seven fun days.
• Our family had seven days to ourselves to adjust before going to Rexburg for Allison and Clayson's wedding and staying there for 10 days.  
• We are now home and settling into our new normal.

I have many photos that will have to wait for a photo dump blog.  This blog just needs to get published.

Last week I wrote about how Evelyn had her first day of school, thus marking the end of Summer for us and the beginning of routine. I have to say, it is sort of nice to fall back into the easy flow of things- it seems that the presence of routine makes the spontaneity of Summer that much better, which in turn makes the routine itself more enjoyable and relaxing. I really feel like we have struck a good balance here.

As far as Evelyn goes, her first week of school was "the best week ever!" (Her words, not mine). She really likes her teacher, her friends, and the stuff they are learning. It is fun to listen to her recount her days to us in vivid detail and with so much excitement that we often have to ask her to slow down so that we can understand what she is saying. I sure love that girl and her enthusiasm for...everything.

Addy and Jack also had their first week of school this week. They are going to preschool at the Kroc Center (an awesome local community center) and seem very grown-up as they go off to class with their big kid backpacks (thanks, Grandma) and smiles on their faces. It is so amazing to me that our kids are old enough to be doing these things. I mean, in some ways it seems like soooo long ago that they were born. In fact, it sometimes seems like I can hardly remember when they weren't a part of our family. But then, at the same time, it seems like they have gotten so big so fast that it is hard for me to keep up. It's strange, I know, but I am betting that almost every parent can identify with what I am trying to say.

As for Maren- Rachel is hard at work organizing a pre-school coop with some of the women in her various social groups. It has been interesting to try and meet everyone's needs, but after a lot of discussion it seems that things are starting to come together. Rachel has been doing this since Evelyn was 2 years old, and by now she is a pro at the organization- but it is still a lot of work for her and I am so amazed that she has managed to keep it up with everything else going on in her life right now.

Speaking of things going on in Rach's life- she is back at work and loving it. She often talks about how fulfilling it is for her to be contributing her talents to the community, and I am glad that she has the opportunity to do this. Also, she is doing very well and people are noticing this, which may lead to further opportunities for her down the road.

On my part, I joined a group this past week called Spokane Mountaineers. It is a local climbing group that meets often for different reasons including social gatherings, instruction, conservation, trip planning, and weekly climbing trips to local destinations. I already knew some of the members, and I am looking forward to participating more in this organization as time goes on. I went out with them this past Thursday and had a lot of fun exploring some new (to me) routes around here.

So, that's an update on all of us.

Oh. Lindsey. She ate this week. And pooped. And spit, and cried, and slept. And SMILED.

And that's all.

As far as activities go, this week has been about cleaning! This is actually very exciting for us. We found that with being out so much over the Summer, certain parts of the house had become sort of neglected (which is okay, but it was nice to get organized again). Yesterday, the kids and I took a big load of garbage to the dumpster, and a big load of donations to the local Goodwill. The funny thing is that our house doesn't look a whole lot different after all this effort- but somehow it feels tremendously fresh and new again. It's almost like it is easier to breathe. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Yesterday, the kids and I went and met Rachel after work at a park near her office for a picnic dinner. I know that probably sounds a little mundane when you are just reading it, but it was actually a really fun night. I am really liking the stage that our family is in right now, and things seem to be going very smoothly for us. Sure, with 5 young kids it can get crazy sometimes, but like the relationship between routine and spontaneity, the juxtaposition between craziness and tranquility makes each one that much sweeter and blissful for what it is. I mean, maybe that's what really living life is all about after all- experiencing such a full gamut of emotions and events and happenstances that they can't help but mesh together into some sort of living tapestry that can only be described as beautiful precisely because of its unique and inherent stochasticity.

Stop! (That was me stopping myself from getting too philosophical on this blog. But you've got to admit, without opposition and divergence in life, things would get pretty boring.)

Anyway- now that I've brought us back from that tangential rut, I can mention one more thing before I sign off for the week. On Friday night Rachel and I went on a date to the fanciest restaurant either of us has ever been to so far. It started out as us just looking for a place to enjoy live music with our meal. There are a variety of places around here that host local bands, and we thought we'd just sort of stop in on one. Well, we got a babysitter, and then one thing led to another, and before we knew it we were sitting across from each other at a fine restaurant, ordering off a French menu, and listening to the light sounds dancing from a fingerpicked guitar. It was a great night out, and at the very least it went to prove one thing for us- that as far as we are concerned, a comfortable routine will never be enough to quelch the simple and elegant delights that come from occasional and impulsive spontaneity. And that is how it should be.

Have a good week!

The personification of "class." I love this woman.

Okay. It's been a few months. A lot has happened. We had a baby. We had visits from family. We visited family. We had summer vacation, complete with classes/camps for the kids. It's been wild and crazy and wonderful.

But I'm not here to write about any of that. Nope. Instead, I am simply going to start where we are, and do an update for this week only. After all, now that school has started, we can all start falling back into a steady routine. In the upcoming days and weeks Rachel has vowed that she will get on here and fill in the substantial gaps that we left over the summer, so you can probably be looking forward to that if you have been missing our amazing blog posts (as I'm sure everyone has).

So...This week was really good. It was the last week of our Summer vacation, and it did not disappoint.

The week started out with an amazing sunset dinner on the deck on Sunday night after the kids went to bed, provided by...me. I know- I am very romantic. We even had speakers with soft bossa nova music in the background. A very nice way to start the week.

Toward the end of the week, we headed up to Farragut State Park for a day hike and relaxation.

"Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?"  -Friedrich Nietzsche
We definitely are not bored around here!

A park that held their attention for about two minutes until they discovered a trail and started exploring. I love our family.

Here is the trail they started exploring. They named it the "Autumn Trail" since it had so many different kinds of leaves on it.

We eventually ended up walking down to the water, and the kids found random logs that they tried floating on. This one didn't work so well :)

I love where we live!

It was so nice that we decided, with the 3-day-weekend and all, to go camping. I have to say, I have no idea why we have not explored this place more since we moved here. It is a half hour away and is seriously one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The views of the lake were breathtaking, and the weather is just barely starting to change to that crisp Autumn feel that I love so much. In short, it was a really, really good weekend.

Our campsite.

Another trail they discovered. Also, Jackson wanted me to point out his flag that he found.

Today, Evelyn had her first day of school. I am so amazed that we have a first grader in our family. When did that happen?! Evelyn took me to her classroom and showed me all around. It is especially exciting since she also gets to go to a whole new school. Her teacher is very nice, and Evelyn is happy for the school year to start. In the car this morning she said that she felt a little bit nervous because she didn't know where to go or how to act in a new situation, but that she also felt excited and happy to see her friends again. I wasn't worried at all. Academically, she is more than ready, and I was proud to watch her run out onto the playground and reunite with her friends from last year who she hasn't seen all summer. I am so proud of my little girl.

This picture was taken about two weeks ago. Evelyn wanted to see how to wear a cardigan, so we looked at pictures of cardigans on the internet. Then she decided that she wanted a picture of her on the internet wearing a cardigan, so other kids could look and know how it should be done. So...here she is.Very sophisticated :)

Well, that's about it. I hope everyone has a great week!