The Hazard Chronicles

We just finished out family dessert night (Hot apple cider, homemade pumpkin pie thanks to Addy, and ice cream), the kids are in bed, and I finally have some time to sit down and write. All I can say is that you’d better take a deep breath. There is a lot to cover in this post.

To start, let’s talk about my work. I promised that I would address this in the last post, and now that things have reached a good stable resting point, I feel like I can look back and tell the story.

So…two years ago Rachel and I started our own business- Heartwood Family Dental. To do this we purchased another office in town that was going out of business. Because of this we were able to get it for a pretty good price, but along with this price came a lot of work. Work that we were more than willing to do, I might add. It was a long shot, but we figured we were young and that now was the time to take long shots.

To put things mildly, it was a wild ride. I can’t help but draw an analogy to kayaking here, because that is something I am familiar with. For all you kayakers out there, this might help you understand.

Imagine that you are scouting the biggest rapid you have ever done. Up until this point you have kayaked a lot of rivers before, and you are confident in your skills, but at the same time you realize that there is always an element of unpredictability that could throw things off at any time. And if you are honest with yourself, it is this unpredictability that makes the river a challenge, but at the same time, it is this very thing that keeps you coming back over and over again.

Anyway- you are scouting this rapid, and you can see your line. You have identified all the spots where you could run into trouble, and you have made back-up plans just in case you do happen to find yourself in a position you don’t want to be in. You get back into your boat and make sure your spray-skirt is on tight. You check your life jacket and helmet, mentally rehearse the moves one last time, and then launch yourself into the current. All you can see at this point is a horizon line, and the river tends to take on a glassy appearance just before the drop that gives the illusion of serenity. And then the fun begins.

That was two years ago, and it was crazy. Like most good rapids, things didn’t go exactly according to plan, and we found ourselves just struggling to stay afloat for much of the time in the beginning. We also had a few other big disturbances in our lives during this time that made things even more interesting, and there were definitely days when we thought that we might not make it.

But we did. And as we moved forward we grew stronger and more confident in ourselves and in each other. We also found that the challenges we faced brought Rachel and I extremely close together as a couple and as a family. There is something about facing adversity together that does that, I think. But face it we did, and we learned and grew more out of the first several months of our business than I thought was even possible. It was incredibly scary, and incredibly rewarding, all at the same time.

And then, like a kayaker who is totally in her element, the rapids started to feel more and more familiar. We found that we had come to a place where we were back in control, and for the first time is a long time we could relax our white-knuckled grip on life. This time was pure enjoyment. Things were going well for us. I was building my reputation in the community, we were financially stable, and things just sort of started working on their own. It was nice. Finally, we were at a place where we weren’t acting reflexively at all anymore- where instead of being pushed around by the currents, we could finally chart our own course and reflect upon where we wanted to go. Only then were we able to come to a very important realization.

We were on the wrong river.

It was a nice river, for sure. It had a lot of good rapids, and it had taught us a lot. I’m sure if we had stayed on it, that we could have continued to have adventures for a long time- and it would have been fun.  But in the end, it wasn’t going in the same direction we wanted to be going, and the longer we stayed this course the further it seemed we were getting from where we actually wanted to end up. To drop the analogy for a while and put this into real-world terms, I was finding more and more that as much as I loved dentistry, I did not want to own a dental practice. There are certain stresses and conflicts-of-interests that come with ownership that I could do without, and I found that I was feeling a sense of isolation not having other dental colleagues to work with on a day-to-day basis. These things, along with a few others, forced us into a very difficult decision with no easy answers. But after much conversation, introspection, and prayer, we finally decided to get out and hike back to the river where we felt we were supposed to be.

That is where we are now. It is hard, because in some ways we feel like we are starting all over again. This time, however, we have with us all the hard-earned lessons and experiences from the past two years to ensure that we are in control. Of course, there will always be unpredictable turns, but we have learned not to be scared of these turns anymore. At this point we feel extremely confident that our decision to merge our practice together with a larger one will end up being the best decision that could have been made for ourselves, our patients, and our family. We are looking forward to the future- full steam ahead!

And that is all I will write about that.

Moving on, we just finished a great week with Marissa and Wesley, who have been visiting us at our home. Of course they brought a bunch of new table-top games with them for us to try out, and we had a lot of fun every night sitting around trying to conquer the world (or something like that) while enjoying the good company of people who we see far too infrequently. It was good having them.

Also, we obviously just had Halloween. Seeing as, in the vast pantheon of American holidays this is the one that stands far above the rest as my favorite, I could not miss the opportunity to write about it here. I mean seriously- how cool is it that we have a whole day- which for some becomes a whole season- just to look at our deepest fears and laugh at them in face? When else can we go out of our way to frighten small children (only to reward them with candy) without fear of having the police show up at our doorstep? What other holiday allows kids to run screaming to the houses of complete strangers demanding goodies, only to be met with smiling faces of people who are all-too-happy to oblige during the only day of the year which still truly presupposes community involvement? And when else do we get to send our kids to school dressed as their heroes, famous super-villains, ghastly phantoms, or even as figures unique to the fantasy-world that lies inside their heads, with no fear that they will be mocked or asked to face the much duller reality of the schoolroom? Finally, what other great American holiday can do all this with the beautiful backdrop of the vibrant colors, crisp sounds, and savory tastes and smells of an autumn time which is in full swing. The answer is that there isn’t one. Halloween stands alone in this category- it is a holiday that nearly everyone can identify with, from young to old, from religious to secular, and from red-neck Idahoans to the capitalists on Wall Street. There is something for everyone, and I LOVE IT.  

Of course we did jack-o-lanterns, and the kids all got to dress up in their costumes. Halloween night saw a light drizzle of rain, but it was mostly warm and didn’t seem to stop anyone from getting out on the streets. After our kids were tired out from running around (they lasted three full blocks this year), we picked them up in the car and drove to our church where there was a huge party going on. They had bounce houses and games galore, and of course more candy to hand out by the bucket load.

It was a good night.

Well, the only other thing I want to mention is a drive we went on last Sunday. We ended up at a little spot in the mountains that we just sort-of stumbled on. It was next to the river, and the kids had fun throwing rocks and making boats. They also went exploring and discovered a wild apple tree. How did that get there? I’ll admit, I thought it was a little strange to be walking through groves of pine and aspen only to see a lone apple tree standing in the middle of a grassy meadow. It was like something from a fairytale. Not ones to miss out on opportunities like this, we all quickly picked the ripest fruit we could find and then ate it while telling speculative stories to each other about how the tree got there. Our kids are all getting to be fun ages where this kind of thing is common, and I have truly come to enjoy getting out and doing things with them.

Oh. One more thing. Tonight we were eating chicken for dinner and it was the first time our kids had eaten drumsticks. In the middle of dinner, Adalie stopped and looked at her food with a critical expression. Then, in a very confused way, she asked “How did a bone get in my chicken?”

Yes- we live in a post-modern, industrialized, skinless, boneless world. For the most part, I am convinced this is a very good thing. Sometimes though, it makes you stop and wonder what isn’t making it through.

Well, Have a good week!