The Joy of Twins

This week I have been thinking a lot about the dynamics of twins. We rarely refer to Adalie and Jackson as twins, and we never call them 'the twins.' We decided early on that it would be better to use names and not lump them together because they are so obviously two different people. I decided to do this post because I have noticed that there are some amazing dynamics in their relationship because they are twins.  There have been difficulties and there have been many joys in having twins. I wanted to get my musings down in our journal.

Having twins has been one of the toughest challenges to my parenting and it may not be for the reasons you think.  The first challenge was that blur of the first year! Adalie and Jackson were born full term (37 weeks) when Evelyn was 19 months old. This was a blessing because there was only a random three day period of jealousy on her part and it was nice because she was very mild mannered.  This timing was difficult because she was still in a very needy stage of life.  Looking back on it I wouldn't have it any other way! A, J, and E all have an extremely close relationships and I wouldn't change that for the world (more on that later).

Adalie and Jackson were both borderline colic.  They would tag team their crying.  Seriously.  Jack would stop and Adalie would pick up where he left off and vice-versa.  At this point I thought it must have been a sixth sense or something. :) In my journal I wrote that I was literally jogging from one task to the other to try to do everything I was needed for.  Also, when you look at the family videos we took you can always hear someone crying in the background.  It was a crazy time and I am a little bit sad that it is such a blur.  I am happy that we made it out of that stage!

One of my personal twin realizations is that, for me, it is very difficult to have one-on-one time with them.  I feel that I am good at taking each kid aside to have personal Momma time,  but for some reason it is tougher with these two!  I have thought hard to try and figure out why this happens.  Adalie and Jackson are two VERY different individuals and it doesn't seem like there should be a problem.  I wonder if it is because when they are together it is very difficult to separate just one of them.  I also wonder if it IS because they are so different.  Maybe I have a 'one-size-fits-all' mentality because they are the same age.  I am not sure.  This is something I just figure out because I think it is so important.

A and J have the cutest relationship!  They are practically inseparable.  Through observing I have come to a huge conclusion about this.  Many of you may say 'duh, of course that is a major factor,' but I just realized it.  There is a major factor for all siblings who are not twins.  There is an automatic leader and follower that naturally comes with age.  The older child assumes that he or she is the 'boss' because of the age gap alone, and this can cause tension, bossiness, and power plays in their interactions.  There is almost none of these in A and J's relationship.  I have never seen such equal share of power between siblings.  They just 'get' each other, and as I observe them I notice little ways they manage to share the power.  They literally take turns making decisions and they equally decide on activities they want to do.   I have also noticed that other people have a difficult time breaking into their little duo.  Evelyn has struggled with this and I can definitely see why.  She can inadvertantly disrupt the power play because she is older and feels that she has more responsiblity to control playtime.  Lately she has been searching out Maren for a playmate, and they are growing pretty close.

I need to insert in here that Adalie and Evelyn have a great relationship together with their similarities as 'the girls,' and Jackson and Evelyn have a great relationship as 'the explorers.'  They seek each other out and gravitate when there is something to explore or to go out and do.  I have observed this for a long time now!  A, J, and E spend a lot of time playing together and having a great time. There are a few squabbles, but they are pretty inseperable most of the time.  Recently, I have noticed occasional separation into groups of two (A and J, and E and M).

In the past Maren has been the little lone explorer at our house.  She enjoys playing alone and sometimes it is difficult to break in and play with her.  In the last month I have seen this change. She has been more welcomed into the group of the older three.  She follows them around and they enjoy including her in their play time!

I have to also insert that this is what I have observed so far in their little lives, and these connections and roles probably will change as they get older.  They have room to change. :)

Cute stories about A and J:

About three times a week I will see Adalie or Jackson spontaneously run up to the other, hug, and announce, "You are my best friend!."  This has been going on for some time now, and I love it every time!

This week I was having Momma time and playing puzzles with A and J.  Jackson was whizzing through our pile of soft brick puzzles while Adalie was struggling with hers.  Adalie mentioned that she needed help and before I could respond Jackson was at her side and encouraging her to do it.  He talked her through doing a few pieces until she was back on track, then he told her he was proud of her and sat back down.  He was very sweet and patient with her!  I was a proud Mom.

After playing puzzles for a while we got out our Uno game.  Adalie and Jackson were very good sports and Adalie ended up winning and she was thrilled.  Jackson grinned, gave her a high five, and told her he was happy that she won.  We started the next game and he announced, "I hope Adalie wins again!"
(This good sportsmanship is not always the case, but it was darn cute).

Logan quote, "Adalie speaks in run on sentences and Jackson speaks in fragments.  When you put them together you have a cohesive conversation."  A few weeks ago I joined the Sunbeam teacher to team teach (the class is huge), and I noticed a time when the teacher didn't understand Jackson.  After class I approached her and let her know that Jack was very patient and would gladly repeat himself if she asked.  She responded that she had difficulty understanding Jackson, but she also had difficulty understanding Adalie because she runs her words together.  I told this story to Logan and he mentioned that ever since that time he has had more difficulty understanding Adalie! Jackson has a very staccato way of speaking and the words he uses are well pronounced while Adalie runs words together and never speaks for less than three minutes at a time.

I also have to mention here that I am glad Adalie and Jack are starting to look more like twins!  I remember going to the doctor for their one year check up and Adalie was in the 99th percentile for weight and Jackson was below the chart!  They definitely did not look like twins! Adalie has lost some of her baby fat and Jackson has grown and now they finally are looking more alike.  They are very cute together.

I love watching my kids grow up, develop relationships with each other, and grow their personalities.

Here are some random pictures from our week:

Griffin and Ashland gave us an excellent cook book for Christmas!  The kids are planning our weekly new recipe, then they will get to take turns helping us make them.

At night the kids have the choice to brush their own teeth or have one of us 'brush them like a dentist.' Evelyn got in on the action and Maren was a willing participant.

This morning Evelyn ran over to me and happily stated, "Good luck to your eyeballs Mom!"  I am not sure where this phrase came from, but all of our kids picked up on it and have been giving well wishes to each other's eyeballs.  Adalie informed me this afternoon that I was a bad guy if she told me, "Good luck to your eyebrows."  I sure love these kids!

Happy, sweet, independent Maren has taken to fits of crying lately.  She is learning that when she cries and throws a fit she gets to sit in a chair until she is finished.  This has been extremely difficult, but not for the reasons you are thinking... Evelyn, Adalie, and Jackson sure love their little sister and they hate to see her sad.  Whenever I put her in the chair and turn around I come back to find her surrounded by toys, blankets, and sometimes her paci.  A, J, and E are very innocent as they explain that it makes them sad to hear Maren cry.  We have had some conversations about how they think we should teach Maren not to throw fits.  They agree that she needs to know that the behavior is unacceptable, but I still find them running to get little treasures at  Maren's time outs!

Our kids are kind of deprived of television.  They are limited to our selection of Veggie Tales, Planet Earth, assorted scripture movies, Disney, and a few other random choices.  We also rent a kids movie for our monthly Family Pizza Movie night that has become a fun tradition. TV time is pretty limited and I like it this way.  However, the reason I mention this is because I have actually come to see some positive things that come directly from television watching.  Our kids, like most other kids, are excellent at creating imaginative play together.  I have noticed that after they watch a movie they come up with a lot of new ideas involving the characters from the movies.  I think this is a great way for them to figure out how to get into the minds of different characters with unique perspectives and ideas.  I hear them talk about the kinds of decisions each character would make and the way each character would think. I like to believe this will help them as they meet new people with different personalities. Another great benefit of movie watching with kids is that it is the perfect opportunity for Mommy cuddle time!  Sometimes if I am having a hard day I will turn on a movie and take turns cuddling with each of my sweet kids.  It is rejuvenating!  Sometimes I don't even mind sick days because it translates into 'cuddle with mommy days.'

Edit: I have to insert here that Bill Nye the Science Guy has become a favorite TV show as well. Youtube is great! :)

If I didn't know that it was January I would think Spring had arrived in Post Falls.  We have had a very rainy week, and the next ten days range from low to high 40's.  Tomorrow should be 47 degrees and that means we will probably be going to the park!  Happy January.

Christmastime!

Trips to Rexburg are always very refreshing for me.

Our trip begins with a 7 hour drive, and surprisingly this is a great beginning to the relaxing experience in Rexburg.  Somehow we managed to get four excellent young travelers (knock on wood!).  I quite enjoy listening to them entertain each other in the back seat.  Logan and I had an enlightening conversation with the kids about how cell phones work and what telephone lines were for.    We also have a rule that the kids can watch one movie on car rides.  This is great for planning the times when I want kids to stay awake so that they don't fall asleep and ruin bedtime. :)

(Insert unrelated car story here) The other day we were waiting for Logan outside of Heartwood.  Jackson was a little bit distressed because he said he was scared of the dark.  Evelyn immediately kicked her feet to make her sparkly shoes light up and she said, "Jack can you see the lights? That means I am up here and will take care of you when you are scared of the dark." After Evelyn spoke up Adalie said, "Jackson- I will sing you a song so that you can hear me and not be afraid of the dark." She immediately started singing (Maren began singing nonsense happy words as she always does when someone starts singing) while Evelyn was making her shoes light up.  Jack was cured of his fear and I was very proud of how my kids take care of each other.

Back to the story....  

As soon as we arrived in Rexburg we were greeted with a whirlwind of activity.  Grandma, Grandpa, Allison, and Courtney were constantly playing with at least one of the kids. Among all of the coloring, painting, cooking, puzzles, and other at-home activities we also went sledding, bowling, shopping, fish-feeding at Warm River, visiting with Cambria and Ty, and car sledding to name a few.

Christmas

As Christmas approached this year I came to the realization that I had pretty much everything that I wanted.  The thing that would mean the most to me is time.  We used this idea as a focus for our Christmas gifts.

Logan and I decided to buy gifts that were centered around activities we could do with the kids.  We bought a few family games, puzzles, and craft gifts that we could make with the kids.  So far we have taken advantage of all of these gifts and we have had some fun times together.

For my Christmas gift to Logan I decided to rent a yurt for a night at Harriman State park.  Logan and I rented cross country skis and spent all day Monday together before our night in the yurt. We had some great conversations, and plenty of time for cross country skiing. We now know how to start an amazing fire in the wood stove... It took a few tries to figure out, but we finally succeeded! (the next morning we found laminated instructions for using the stove) We had a wonderful, quiet, relaxing, fun time together. I sure love Logan!

During our vacation I was able to spend a lot of one-on-one time with each of the kids.  Let me tell you that this is MUCH easier when the other kids are occupied and entertained.  Overall we had a wonderful vacation.

During the course of our trip Logan and I made a family New Years resolution to go on a family trip. We realized that whenever we go on family trips it is always to another family members house.  It is time to get out and bond with each other on a crazy family road trip! Our destination is yet to be determined. Please share your ideas with us.

I have to mention that our kids are at a great age for playing games together!  For Christmas we got Sorry, Trouble, and a story cube game.  Some of our other favorites are Uno and Go Fish.  This whole new world of fun has opened up to us now that the oldest three can understand the rules and play their own turns.  The only trick is to distract Maren because she definitely wants to get in on the action.

Overall we had an excellent vacation; lots of family time, focusing on the Savior, fun alone time, activities, great food, and great company.

Now for the huge photo dump.

Our kids have always been fans of reading books.  This vacation did not disappoint! 

Yes, Maren's head was stuck between the bars. Yes, she was distressed. And yes- I did make her wait so that I could get the camera out of my pocket.

Hooray for dress up clothes!  All of the kids are big fans.

Here is our little winter yurt.  We didn't manage to get a picture of both of us together.

We have a Hazard New Years tradition involving our tree and a bonfire in the backyard.  Here are the before and after pictures of this fun event.

Does any one have any idea where these floating bubbles are coming from?

No it was not snowing when we took this still photo.  What on earth happened between dumping the pictures into Picasa and uploading them to our blog?

Papa time with one of Jack's new Christmas presents

Adalie and Jackson came up and informed me that they were playing the Princess and the Frog.  Hmmm. Imaginative?

We went to Q'emlin park to go hiking.  Evelyn discovered this HUGE sheet of ice and wanted to explore.  It was really cool.

We took a hike at Q'emlin park and ended up on 'The Icy Trail of Death."  Jack had his hands in his pockets when he slipped... He didn't even put his hands down when he landed head first on a rock. Poor kid!  He took it like a champ though.