The Hazard Chronicles

I am sitting at home right now in the living room. Jackson just barely went down for his nap (he had a hard time, poor guy), whereas Adalie just woke up from hers. Baaah. I hate it when that happens. For now Addy is happily sipping milk out of her sippy cup but when she sees that I have the computer out she will want to come and investigate. Addy's thought: That shiny thing that dad has looks expensive- I bet I can break it in 10 seconds flat! Rachel and Evelyn are at church. I stayed home with these guys because they're a little bit sick today.

I don't really know where to start with this week. Have you ever felt like you were running around non-stop, going a little bit crazy and being constantly bombarded by new things that need to get done, but then when you look back on it all you can't figure out exactly what it was that you did? Well, that pretty much summarizes this week.

I have been on my hospital rotation this week at school. That means that I had to be to school by about 6:30 every day and didn't get done until about 6:30 in the evening. Now, I know this kind of schedule might seem like a vacation for some of my med-school friends, but for me it was definitely a change of routine. I did get to do and see some cool stuff in the OR (where I thought I might freeze to death) but I am glad that the rotation is over and that next week will be more normal.

Since I don't really have much to write about concerning the events of the week, I'm going to do a choose-your-own-adventure type of post. Remember those books with alternate endings? Well, here are your options.

If you want to read something about Rachel, the love of my life, go to where it says "Option 1"

If you want to read something about my silly children, go to where it says "Option 2"

Pretty fancy eh?

Oh- and our camera broke this week so we don't have pictures. Sorry.

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Option #1

Here, I will write something that I love about my dear wife Rachel. See, we went to the temple yesterday down in Columbus and Rachel was radiant all decked out in her white clothes. Seriously, she was glowing, and I couldn't help but think about how, out of all the guys she could have chosen, she decided to marry me. How lucky I am.

But what I want to say about her today goes well beyond sheer beauty. Here it is. One of the things that I absolutely love about Rachel is her mess-tolerance level. Now that might not seem super romantic (probably because it's not), but I think that it has done a lot for us as a couple. Allow me to explain.

I have known people who would not allow themselves to have any fun until everything around the house was in it's perfect little place. These are the "all work and no play" types. I had mission companions like this. And let me just say that these people are duds. Boring. Sticks in the mud. And I don't get along with them very well.

On the other hand, I have known people who didn't even know if their things had a place to go. The floor, or the kitchen table, or the bathroom counter was the normal place to leave things, and that was just how it is for these guys. These people are gross and disgusting. We don't get along very well either.

In between these two extremes lies a spectrum. And Rachel and I are on pretty much on the exact same point on that spectrum. We both like a clean house, and it is usually spotless when I come home from school every day. Rachel is amazing. But every once in a while, cleanliness has to take a back seat to fun, to time together, and to the enjoyment of life. I don't believe that there are very many couples who fall in love over their excitement about a clean room, and I certainly don't think there are many people who's fondest memories of their families involve picking up after one-another.

But I do think that people build relationships by experiencing things together. It is the vacations, the family outings, or the date nights that continue to build relationships. And that is why I believe Rachel and I love being together.

When we first got married we made a goal to do at least one out-of-the-ordinary thing every week to keep life interesting. We vowed never to fall into such a drab routine that life was overly predictable or monotonous. And so far I think we have done that.

So, is my house a filthy wreck right now? Pretty much. But we went to the temple yesterday. And we are both perfectly content with that.

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Option #2

During my time as an undergraduate student at BYU I enrolled in a psychology class. Because of that class I have come to think that psychologists are, for the most part, weirdos. But that is a different story. See, during that class the teacher talked a lot about twin studies. With twins you have a control for a very important variable: life’s circumstances of the participants. This goes a long way when the researcher is trying to determine if a certain behavior is due to “nature” or “nurture.”

Well, I got to thinking.

I have twins.

I could be a researcher.

Some people think I’m weird (maybe even more than are letting on).

I could be a psychologist!

And so began my intellectual journey into the human mind. So far I have made some very ground-breaking discoveries. I am actually preparing a manuscript for the Journal of Psychology later in the week, but I’ll give you a sneak peak on this blog.

Discovery #1: Being a psychologist is easy. All you have to do is take a bit of conventional wisdom- like the “sour grapes” analogy made famous by Mr. Aesop, and coin a term for it- like “The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance.” People then look at this and say “wow- that’s a lot of big words” and they assume that you are an academic genius.

Discovery #2: Twins don’t necessarily like being the subject of experiments. This was a bit counterintuitive given their unceasing cries for attention when you are trying to cook dinner and can’t attend to their every need.

Discovery #3: The grass is truly always greener on the other side. In my journal article I will refer to this as “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side Syndrome.” I came to these conclusions based on careful observation of the twin’s behavior. For example, Adalie HATES Jackson’s special formula, and for good reason-It is gross. Instead, we give her regular milk. Well, if she sees Jackson drinking then she will literally throw her sippy cup over her shoulder and make a bee-line toward him with a very determined scrunchy-face look. When she gets there she rips the cup out of Jackson’s hands and begins to chug the whole thing. She has learned to drink quickly though because Jackson will scream, thus alerting us of his pilfering sister.

Another example: Jackson is sad. We try to read him books but he will have none of it. Finally we find a toy that will appease him. All is well until Addy gets sad (this usually doesn’t take very long). We give her a book and she is happy again. We breathe a sigh of relief, but then the drama begins. Jack suddenly realizes Adalie’s book and his toy is no good any more. He wants that book. In the meantime the same thing has happened as Adalie recognizes that Jackson is holding a toy.

The easy answer to this situation is to simply let them trade. But it is not that simple. They will sit on the carpet forever, trading toys over and over again, always wanting what the other one has. Never mind that they just had that particular toy 10 seconds ago. The only thing that is important is that the other person has something that they don’t.

One more example: They are constantly stealing food off of each other’s trays. It doesn’t matter that the exact same thing is on each tray. They just want what they can’t have. Our solution to this has been to put them close enough to each other that Jack can just eat off of Addy’s tray, and vice-versa.

Kids are funny.