This week I learned how amazing Rachel is. Yesterday (Saturday) she went down to Kent State for a day-long interpreter conference. She had a great time. Meanwhile, I was at home with the kids. At first I was looking forward to it, but then things started to go downhill pretty fast.

Just after breakfast Evelyn and the babies were playing with their play kitchen. I was cleaning up breakfast, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Evelyn straining with all her might to tip the whole thing over on top of Jack and Addy. I tried to say no, but the words caught in my throat as I realized that I was just one second too late. The whole thing came down and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Jack and Addy were squirming around under it and crying, and Evelyn was doing a little victory dance along with a very high pitched happy song/war-cry and I was running and trying to make sure that nobody was too badly injured. What a way to start the day.

Later, after Jackson and Adalie woke up from their morning naps, I had them in their high chairs to eat. I had given them their food and things were all under control, so I decided to check my email while I waited for them to finish their snacks. It must have been only about 10 seceonds before Jack let out a wild scream, followed by Evelyn saying in a very sweet voice "I'm sorry Jackson." I went to investigate and before my eyes I found Evelyn holding a steak knife (where did THAT come from?) and Jackson with blood coming from his EYE. Yeah- I freaked out. A quick evaluation showed that the knife had not actually pierced the eye, but had made a neat little incision about 2 milimeters below it- a little bit too close for comfort if you ask me.

Finally, I decided to get out of the house. We needed groceries so I decided to go to the store. Well, it turns out that Evelyn didn't like the store. She wanted to go somewhere else. And she was going to let the whole world know about it. The whole time we were there she was throwing a tantrum- Literally screaming at the top of her lungs that I had gotten the wrong cheese, or that she wanted yogurt, or that she wanted out of the cart, or that she wanted back in the cart, or that she didn't want Jackson and Addy to go in with us, or a hundred other things that just weren't acceptable to her in her own little Evelyn-centered universe. It was basically a disaster. I got a lot of sympathetic looks from strangers, and a few rude ones as well. I also got a very interesting look when she calmed down just long enough to look a stranger in the eye, and then very clearly articulate that "I have an owie on my bum." That is our sweet girl. I wanted to strangle her.

But the story isn't over yet. Determined not to let her win this one, I pushed her all around the store for the better part of an hour, throwing the groceries I needed into the cart as I ran through the aisles. Forget about comparison shopping- This was survival shopping and I just wanted out as quickly as I could. Finally I got to the check-out counter and they rang up my total, but when I looked in my wallet there was no card to pay with. Rachel had taken it to the conference with her. I searched for any back-up options, but came up empty. Finally I just told the cashier that I was sorry and that I felt like a total idiot with the word loser stamped on my forehead but that I had no money and couldn't pay for the groceries. Talk about embarassing. Just lock me in a room- or better, a padded white cell.

When we got home from that fiasco I put them to bed and just sat on the couch and contemplated how amazing Rachel is. Not only does she do this every day, but she finds fun outings for them to go on, is a part of various groups, and somehow cleans the house in between all the madness. Oh, and did I mention she teaches pre-school?

Pre-school. I think I talked about it once before. It is a co-op that Rachel is doing with five other moms. This weeks was her week, meaning that besides our three adorable children, she also had FIVE others to deal with- the oldest of which just turned three. She did an amazing job, of course. I'm telling you, sometimes I think she is from another planet where kid-management just sort of happens naturally. It is crazy what she can accomplish.

As for our "adult" activities this week, some friends watched our kids on Friday night and Rachel and I went to the Ingenuity Fest. It was in this old subway tunnel that was partially over a bridge overlooking the city and partially underground. It was actually pretty cool. There were live bands and street performers and weird artsy exhibits and colored lights lighting the tunnel. Very "ingenious," and a lot of fun. My favorite part was the street magician who made three oranges and a cantalope "appear" out of nothing. I still can't quite get my head around that one.

Here we are at the Inginuity Festival.

Here are the projects that Evelyn made at pre-school this week. Obviously, she had a very creative teacher.

And here she is playing dentist. She loves doing this. I don't understand why anyone would want to look in someone else's mouth. Gross!

Sometimes you just miss the moment and realize it can never be recovered.

Wow- this has been one busy week! The star, however, is Jack. Let me tell you why:

First, there is the scary part. As Rachel puts it, "no parent should have to experience this." It happened during a play group. The kids were happily playing together near a large wooden box. Suddenly Jack fell in, head first (or maybe he was pushed). He started crying and Rachel went over to comfort him. Then came the scary part. Our sweet little Jackson suddenly started twitching from the waist down, and then went totally limp and blacked out completely. Some people thought he might be choking and started trying to baby-Heimlich him back into consciousness but to no avail.

He was really only out for about 20 seconds, but it seemed like a lot longer. He finally started to regain his consciousness, but maintained a dazed expression on his face. As Rachel puts it, "he was just really mellow...not crying at all but just sort of out of it." Anybody who knows Jack can understand why this was disconcerting. The kid is usually somewhat of a spaz!

Later on, after a visit from the ambulance and a long wait in the ER the doctors said they couldn't really explain what had happened. They took an MRI and everything checked out fine so they dismissed him. The best they could say is that he either has some sort of seizure disorder (not real likely) or he suffered from a concussion (probably). Whatever it was, it scared everyone for a little while but it is over now and Jackson is just fine. And just as spastic as ever! We love our Jack.

Now for the fun part. Jackson is definitely learning to walk. Just watch the video at the end. Need I say more?

Adalie, on the other hand, is completely content to allow us to do the work of moving her from place to place. She is sort of a lazy kid (or a smart one). Sometimes I call her "the beautiful blob." Sometimes the title fits.

The other fun thing about Jack? He's drinking whole milk! I know that doesn't sound thrilling, but little Jack-man has had this horrible milk/soy allergy his whole life. Whenever he has any of these things he breaks out into this horrible rash and starts scratching himself all over and just dissolves into a miserable, red, lumpy mess. We were told that kids sometimes grow out of this, and we were hopping this would be the case. Well, this week we ran out of Jack's super hypoallergenic (and super expensive) formula, and instead of running to the store for more we decided to see how the allergy thing was going. Well, he has been drinking straight whole milk for a week now and there has been no adverse reactions. We can't say for sure quite yet, but we think this means that the allergy days are over. Hooray!

So, we are trying to teach Evelyn manners. It is really cute to listen to her say "peas" (please), "gain-koo" (thank you), "yo-belkum" (you're welcome), and "bessoo" (bless you). We must have gone wrong somewhere though, because the other day she passed gas in a very non-discrete way (I never knew noises like that could come from such sweet little girls!). She looked a little embarrassed and Rachel tried to prompt her by asking "what do you say?" She thought about that for a second, and then her face lit up with a smile, she looked right at Rachel, and she loudly proclaimed "WOAH!"

The other main event of the week is in regards to Rachel. On Friday night we went down to Columbus and stayed in a really run-down hotel. They didn't even provide soap or shampoo. It was pretty ghetto. Anyway, we did that because on Saturday morning, bright and early, Rachel went to take the NIC test. This, essentially, was a test to see if Rachel qualifies for the highest level of interpreter that there is. Passing this test would mean that her certification would supersede any other local or state issued requirements for qualification. Basically, she could interpret anywhere, at any time, and in any situation that she wanted.

So- it's a pretty intense test. She has been studying and practicing for the past couple months for this and it all came down to a few hours in a small room with a video camera. In the meantime, I took the kids to the park and chased ducks.

When I went back to pick her up she had a smile on her face and told me she thought she did really well (even though she's scared to admit this to herself). We won't officially know for another month or so, but it is nice that she at least feels good about it. To celebrate, we all went out to eat at a "real" restaurant-the kind where you actually order off a menu handed out by a server. Rachel got the ribs and an all-you-can-eat ice cream Sunday. I shared a burger and fries with Evelyn. Jackson and Adalie ate orange and green crayons. We all left happy.

Rachel, Enjoying her celebration lunch. I'm so proud of her.

This was a very busy week. So busy, in fact, that I am not even going to make an attempt at putting things in chronological order. Instead, we will talk about each individual person.

Me and Rachel
Ok- so we are two individuals, but I can still group us together because we are “one in purpose.” I’ll also talk about general family events here.

We got new bikes! If you have been following this blog for the past couple of months then you probably remember how our bikes were stolen, along with our child seats and bike trailer (they were locked up inside of our garage!). We were pretty bummed out about this since family bike rides were a regular part of our week. Well, after much looking and bargaining we have finally replaced everything. True, I now have a cheap little piece of steel instead of a nice Trek, but it works and we are once again mobile. And actually, the trailer is way better than the one we had before. We are very excited to be able to go out again because the beautiful Fall season (the best time of the year for bike rides) is just beginning.

As you probably know, Monday was Labor Day. We celebrated by going to the Cleveland air show, just like we have for the past two years. As always it was spectacular, and I again resolved to learn to fly airplanes one day. This is a desire which will probably fade over the next 3-4 weeks (this sort of transient obsession is typical of my brain), but you’ve got to admit, it would be cool. Evelyn, however, does not agree. She loved watching the show, and she walked around saying “airplane, airplane” for the rest of the week, but when they actually flew overhead she would cower into my arms and start to whimper. The only words she could muster at this time in a weak little whine were “airplane scarrrrrry.”

Yesterday we took full advantage of the coming of Autumn by driving out to a farm where we went apple picking! It was so much fun this year because Evelyn really got into it. At the farm they had little bags for the kids which Evelyn proudly wore over her shoulder. As we walked through the orchard she was practically dancing around the trees and with her cute sing-songy little voice repeating the chorus of “I picking apples!” over and over and over…and over. It was very fun to watch her. For some reason it is so rewarding to watch your children having fun. Seeing them happy is seriously one of the things that brings me the most happiness.

On Friday night Rachel and I went to an Indian’s game. But this wasn’t just an ordinary game. See, Phil Aftoora is the guy who interviewed me to come to school here. We also met with him while living in Provo, and again a couple of times out here. He has, in a way, become a friend. Well, he told us he had season passes and wanted to take us out to a game. We accepted the invitation even though we are not huge baseball fans, thinking it would be a fun night out. Boy, was that an understatement! His season tickets, it turns out, are with the fancy “we’re-going-to-treat-you-like-celebrities” club where we got, seriously, the best seat in the stadium. But that’s not all. These seats were part of a fancy restaurant where they had, I think, the best buffet I have been to. We are talking all-you-can-eat steak, lobster, shrimp, and marinated chicken. We’re talking having the chef standing there cutting your meat as it comes off the grill. Man, was it good. To top off the night we watched fireworks- in 3D! We wore these glasses that, basically, were prisms, so it made everything much more colorful (not really 3D, I guess, but it still made for a cool effect). It was a great night and we are glad we went…even though we are not huge baseball fans

Evelyn
Evelyn thinks she is a dog.

Yes, you read that right. She doesn’t like using silverware any more, she refuses to wear any clothes, and we even caught her trying to drink out of the toilet. No, I am not kidding. Sometimes I think I am going to scream at her, but then I find myself laughing too hard to muster the appropriate tone of voice to get really angry.

Other than that she is doing fantastic. She started pre-school this week and she loves it. Rachel and five of her friends got together and made this little pre-school co-op (like joy-school, but a little different). I got to drop her off for school on Thursday and it was so fun to watch her jump right in and play with the other kids and enjoy it so much. When I come home from school she tells me all about her day and shows me the things she made. It is so much fun having a little girl

She has also accomplished two very important accomplishments this week. First, she has learned how to read. OK- not really. But she can definitely recognize the words Evelyn, Jackson, Adalie (along with their shortened forms), Mom, Dad, papa, and doggy when written on paper.

The second thing is even more impressive. She has stopped sucking her thumb! Mostly. One day we just told her that she was a big girl, and that big girls don’t suck on their thumbs, and I guess it sunk in because whenever she gets the urge she finds us, and in a very sweet voice, states “I no sucking my thumb. I’m a big girl. AddyJack no big girl. I big girl.” We are so proud of our big girl.

Adalie
Adalie turned 1 this week! To celebrate we went to the dollar store where Evelyn picked out a present for her all by herself. We then went home and had presents, sang the birthday song, and ate cupcakes. She loves cupcakes!

Addy is also, it turns out, a drama queen. There is no question about it and no other words to describe it. When she decides to be frustrated she will kick and scream until the whole neighborhood knows how she is feeling. When she is sad she will fall straight onto her face with her arms spread out over her head (pretty funny to watch) and just sob into the carpet while kicking one foot in slow motion. And when she is happy she will get the biggest smile ever and giggle to no end and just be the happiest, bubbliest one-year-old on the planet. That is Addy- our drama queen

Jackson
Jackson turned 1 this week! To celebrate we went to the dollar store where Evelyn picked out a present for him all by herself. We then went home and had presents, sang the birthday song, and ate cupcakes. He loves cupcakes!

Jack has also learned a few new tricks this week. First of all, he is totally standing without assistance. He will even bend down and pick things up without falling. What’s more, he has taken his first steps. It happened at the BBQ over Labor Day. It is sort of scary, and a part of me wants to run and push him over, but Evelyn pretty much has that job figured out. Seriously, I don’t know what it is going to be like after these guys learn to walk, which may be in the not-so-distant future. It seems like it could get pretty crazy trying to keep track of them, but then again, it already is.

Well, that’s our crazy week. A lot has happened. It has been fun. Let the new week begin!

Oh- and we got a new camera (a fancy water-proof, dust-proof, shock-proof, kid-proof one). We’ve gone through five cameras in five years so hopefully we have better luck with this one. Enjoy the pictures.

Apple Picking.

Us at the baseball game. So fun.

Evelyn helped make the birthday cupcakes.

Happy Birthday Adalie! Happy Birthday Jack!

I am sitting at home right now in the living room. Jackson just barely went down for his nap (he had a hard time, poor guy), whereas Adalie just woke up from hers. Baaah. I hate it when that happens. For now Addy is happily sipping milk out of her sippy cup but when she sees that I have the computer out she will want to come and investigate. Addy's thought: That shiny thing that dad has looks expensive- I bet I can break it in 10 seconds flat! Rachel and Evelyn are at church. I stayed home with these guys because they're a little bit sick today.

I don't really know where to start with this week. Have you ever felt like you were running around non-stop, going a little bit crazy and being constantly bombarded by new things that need to get done, but then when you look back on it all you can't figure out exactly what it was that you did? Well, that pretty much summarizes this week.

I have been on my hospital rotation this week at school. That means that I had to be to school by about 6:30 every day and didn't get done until about 6:30 in the evening. Now, I know this kind of schedule might seem like a vacation for some of my med-school friends, but for me it was definitely a change of routine. I did get to do and see some cool stuff in the OR (where I thought I might freeze to death) but I am glad that the rotation is over and that next week will be more normal.

Since I don't really have much to write about concerning the events of the week, I'm going to do a choose-your-own-adventure type of post. Remember those books with alternate endings? Well, here are your options.

If you want to read something about Rachel, the love of my life, go to where it says "Option 1"

If you want to read something about my silly children, go to where it says "Option 2"

Pretty fancy eh?

Oh- and our camera broke this week so we don't have pictures. Sorry.

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Option #1

Here, I will write something that I love about my dear wife Rachel. See, we went to the temple yesterday down in Columbus and Rachel was radiant all decked out in her white clothes. Seriously, she was glowing, and I couldn't help but think about how, out of all the guys she could have chosen, she decided to marry me. How lucky I am.

But what I want to say about her today goes well beyond sheer beauty. Here it is. One of the things that I absolutely love about Rachel is her mess-tolerance level. Now that might not seem super romantic (probably because it's not), but I think that it has done a lot for us as a couple. Allow me to explain.

I have known people who would not allow themselves to have any fun until everything around the house was in it's perfect little place. These are the "all work and no play" types. I had mission companions like this. And let me just say that these people are duds. Boring. Sticks in the mud. And I don't get along with them very well.

On the other hand, I have known people who didn't even know if their things had a place to go. The floor, or the kitchen table, or the bathroom counter was the normal place to leave things, and that was just how it is for these guys. These people are gross and disgusting. We don't get along very well either.

In between these two extremes lies a spectrum. And Rachel and I are on pretty much on the exact same point on that spectrum. We both like a clean house, and it is usually spotless when I come home from school every day. Rachel is amazing. But every once in a while, cleanliness has to take a back seat to fun, to time together, and to the enjoyment of life. I don't believe that there are very many couples who fall in love over their excitement about a clean room, and I certainly don't think there are many people who's fondest memories of their families involve picking up after one-another.

But I do think that people build relationships by experiencing things together. It is the vacations, the family outings, or the date nights that continue to build relationships. And that is why I believe Rachel and I love being together.

When we first got married we made a goal to do at least one out-of-the-ordinary thing every week to keep life interesting. We vowed never to fall into such a drab routine that life was overly predictable or monotonous. And so far I think we have done that.

So, is my house a filthy wreck right now? Pretty much. But we went to the temple yesterday. And we are both perfectly content with that.

______________________________________

Option #2

During my time as an undergraduate student at BYU I enrolled in a psychology class. Because of that class I have come to think that psychologists are, for the most part, weirdos. But that is a different story. See, during that class the teacher talked a lot about twin studies. With twins you have a control for a very important variable: life’s circumstances of the participants. This goes a long way when the researcher is trying to determine if a certain behavior is due to “nature” or “nurture.”

Well, I got to thinking.

I have twins.

I could be a researcher.

Some people think I’m weird (maybe even more than are letting on).

I could be a psychologist!

And so began my intellectual journey into the human mind. So far I have made some very ground-breaking discoveries. I am actually preparing a manuscript for the Journal of Psychology later in the week, but I’ll give you a sneak peak on this blog.

Discovery #1: Being a psychologist is easy. All you have to do is take a bit of conventional wisdom- like the “sour grapes” analogy made famous by Mr. Aesop, and coin a term for it- like “The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance.” People then look at this and say “wow- that’s a lot of big words” and they assume that you are an academic genius.

Discovery #2: Twins don’t necessarily like being the subject of experiments. This was a bit counterintuitive given their unceasing cries for attention when you are trying to cook dinner and can’t attend to their every need.

Discovery #3: The grass is truly always greener on the other side. In my journal article I will refer to this as “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side Syndrome.” I came to these conclusions based on careful observation of the twin’s behavior. For example, Adalie HATES Jackson’s special formula, and for good reason-It is gross. Instead, we give her regular milk. Well, if she sees Jackson drinking then she will literally throw her sippy cup over her shoulder and make a bee-line toward him with a very determined scrunchy-face look. When she gets there she rips the cup out of Jackson’s hands and begins to chug the whole thing. She has learned to drink quickly though because Jackson will scream, thus alerting us of his pilfering sister.

Another example: Jackson is sad. We try to read him books but he will have none of it. Finally we find a toy that will appease him. All is well until Addy gets sad (this usually doesn’t take very long). We give her a book and she is happy again. We breathe a sigh of relief, but then the drama begins. Jack suddenly realizes Adalie’s book and his toy is no good any more. He wants that book. In the meantime the same thing has happened as Adalie recognizes that Jackson is holding a toy.

The easy answer to this situation is to simply let them trade. But it is not that simple. They will sit on the carpet forever, trading toys over and over again, always wanting what the other one has. Never mind that they just had that particular toy 10 seconds ago. The only thing that is important is that the other person has something that they don’t.

One more example: They are constantly stealing food off of each other’s trays. It doesn’t matter that the exact same thing is on each tray. They just want what they can’t have. Our solution to this has been to put them close enough to each other that Jack can just eat off of Addy’s tray, and vice-versa.

Kids are funny.