The Hazard Chronicles

A few days ago Rachel and I watched Lebron James and the Cavaliers win the first title in 52 years for Cleveland. I have to admit, it was pretty exciting and I got more emotional than I usually do over sports. I went to school in Cleveland and I know how much this means to the city. I also think it means a lot to Lebron as a person, and I think that's pretty awesome.

The real reason I am mentioning this though, is because the recent NBA finals caused me to look back over some stuff I had written back in 2013, and I came across a gem that was just too good to go unpublished. It has nothing to do with our week, but I'm putting it on here hoping people can enjoy this as much as I did:

*****

So, the other day I was just sitting at work, minding my own business, when the phone rang. "Hello," I said.

"Hello," said the voice on the other line. "I'm looking for a Logan Hazard."

"This is him"

"Great. This is coach Mike D'Antoni from the Los Angeles Lakers. We're in a bit of a bind and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping us out."

Well, I was a bit surprised, but I told him that I would do whatever I could. "What seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"Well, our star player, Kobe Bryant, is injured this week and we have a big game coming up. Now I'm confident that we can win that game without Kobe, but basketball isn't just about winning. It's also a show. It's about giving the fans what they want. And what people want is Kobe. They need to see him out there on the court, doing what he does best."

"I follow you," I said, thinking this would be a great opportunity to market myself to my little community. "So, how can I be of service?"

"Well...We want you to BE Kobe for a week. Do you think you can do that?"

At this I was a little taken aback. "What do you mean?" I asked, cautiously.

"We've searched all over the country looking for someone who resembles Kobe closely enough that they can step into his shoes and people wouldn't know the difference- sort of like a stunt double. Finally we came across your profile and it's a perfect match."

"Um...I think there's been a mistake."

"Look, if it's a question of money..."

"No- it's just that Kobe Bryant is- Well, for one thing he's black. And he's big. And he knows how to play basketball. That's not me. I'm very much white, and I'm pretty short, and I have yet to find another person my same age who is skinnier than me (except for my brother!). Oh- and I don't really play basketball either. In fact, my little sister can probably beat me in a game of HORSE. Like I said, I'd love to help but I'm pretty sure you've got the wrong guy."

"Listen," the coach said. "Are you Logan Hazard or aren't you?"

"I am, but..."

"Is this your social security number" (he proceeded to read off my SSN)

"Well, yea, but..."

"Are you a dentist in Post Falls, Idaho?"

"Yes"

"Did you eat lunch at precisely 12:24 last Saturday at Del Taco?"

"Yes"

"Okay- so you look here. You are speaking with a man who does not make mistakes. When I say you can be Kobe, I am one hundred percent confident that you can do the job. Now, I'm offering to pay you 2.3 million dollars each day that you are down here filling his place. Does that sound good to you? Are you going to walk away from that?"

"Well, yes sir- I mean no sir- I mean, I'll do my best sir, but I don't think people are going to buy it."

"Leave that to me to decide. Now, I've already arranged for you to be on a flight in four hours from Spokane to LA. You will be on that flight. I will be waiting for you at the airport. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir."

"Good. I'll see you in six hours."

*****

Now that I've got that out there, I can move on with our week. For starters, I want to congratulate Rachel on her bike race. 80 miles. 2nd place in her age group. 5th female overall. Pretty impressive.

First up are some pictures from Jason Duchow- a local sports photographer that does amazing work. We have purchased these pictures, but they haven't arrived yet and we can't wait to publish them, so you get the watermarked version for now.

Here she is "pulling the line." I think that's a bike term that means she is in the lead and everyone else is drafting off of her- sort of like geese flying in formation.

As you can see, it was a cold, gusty, sort-of rainy kind of day. Not the easiest ride.

While Rachel was out in the elements, the kids and I went to the park at the finish line and had a leisurely picnic by the lake.

Kids were pretty intrigued with this dead fish and made me promise to put a picture of it on THC.

Meeting Mom at the finish line was the best part. Go Rach!

*****

Besides Rachel's race, we also had Father's Day this week. The kids gave me a great day of rest and relaxation, including a great breakfast, a relaxing lunch out, and some beautiful wind-chimes to hang by our deck. Sitting on the deck after the kids have gone to bed and watching the sun set over the mountains is one of our favorite Summer activities, and the chimes definitely add to the peaceful ambiance. Thanks guys- it's fun being your dad. You make it easy.