The Hazard Chronicles

An important part of growing up is figuring out who "your people" are. Where do you fit in the overall social landscape? And for that matter, who even are you, really? Up until a certain point your identity within the family is all that really matters. As far as the broader community, you are just one of "Logan and Rachel's kids." An accessory? Not quite, but if I remember back to my own teenage years it can certainly feel that way sometimes. I think this can be especially true in larger families who spend a lot of time together. And I think that is a great thing. These family relationships are important, and although they will certainly change over the years, I hope they will continue to lend a sense of self to each of my kids.

But then as you grow up you start being exposed to different kinds of ideas and people and settings. What was once "cool" is now lame, and what was proper decorum in one setting gets you in trouble somewhere else. I think you also start feeling more like "yourself," and while you still love your place in the family, that place can start feeling a little bit like a cage, putting limits on who you really want to be. All of this seems very normal to me, but it also seems like it could get pretty stressful. Especially if who you are "supposed" to be and how other people see you doesn't fit well with who you think you are. I recently went back and re-read a journal I kept as a teenager and I know these were all things I thought about at the time. Looking at things now, from a parent's point of view, I just hope I can be there for my kids as they navigate this process in a world that is as unfamiliar to me as it is to them.

It has its rewards though. I feel like I am watching a movie, and I have no idea where it is going to go next, but since it's been so good up until now I am more excited than nervous to keep watching. Two instances happened this week that really gave me that sense.

The first was on Friday night. It was then that I took Evelyn to her first rock concert, a Nirvana tribute band that, to be honest, was actually pretty good. When we first got there, Ev seemed a little uncertain. It wasn't long though, before she saw some other kids that were dressed like her and she did something that I would never have had the courage to do at her age. She walked up and just started talking to them.

Woah. My dad brain just exploded.

The rest of the concert was just like that and it couldn't have been any cooler. Ev was totally in her element, rocking out, standing with her peers, being as much with them as she was with me. It was sort of like that part at a wedding when the dad "gives his daughter away" (whatever that means) at the daddy-daughter dance, only the music was way cooler and she was stepping out confidently on her own- doing her own thing and completely loving it.

This is when we first got there and music hadn't started yet. It was open seating and we were early enough to get pretty close to the stage.

She spent most of the night hanging out with the girl you can see behind her

So, that was the first event. I said there were two. The second one was with Jack.

After getting home around midnight with Ev, I woke up early the next day and drove Jackson to his first backpacking trip in his new scout troop. I was a little nervous for him going in because most of the kids in this group are in high school and he is just barely entering middle school. He is rocking the middle school thing though (Rach- you still need to do that post!) and he really likes scouts, so I figured he would be fine. He packed all his own stuff, including a tent that he was determined to set up and sleep in all by himself. Upon arrival at the trailhead he was quick to take the lead, and pushed the pace to a level that several of the boys had a hard time keeping up. We arrived at the lake and he chose the camping spot for the group, set up his stuff, and even got the fire going for everyone. Like with Evelyn at the concert, it was clear that he was in his element. He acted confident in himself and often took the initiative. As for me, I just stayed in the background and enjoyed the trip.