Our home has been invaded by snakes. They are invisible and nearly indestructible. At least they aren't poisonous though- they just make it so you have a really bad cough. Apparently their sole purpose in life is to terrorize young children in the middle of the night.

That's what Jackson had to say to us last night at 3 o'clock in the morning. He was terrified and inconsolable. He isn't the only one who had a long night.

A few nights ago it was tiny spider monsters who could hide anywhere and only came out after kids were sleeping.

Before that it was something else (I can't remember).

I wish the ghostbusters were the real deal, because for the sake of all of our sanity this needs to stop.
______________________
Quick update on Evelyn's "Invent Idaho" project (read last week's post for details): She presented it and is now going to regionals. I am proud of her hard work- she did a lot even if Rachel or I had to supervise almost every step of the way to meet her teacher's expectations.

______________________
Addy update: Last week she asked to get her ears pierced. She was very brave. Evelyn went with her to offer moral support and to remind her every thirty seconds in a shrill voice how much it was going to hurt. Addy didn't bat an eye though, and is very proud of her new flower earrings. Evelyn on the other hand, was traumatized by the experience of watching, but is expected to make a full recovery in about 6 months (it could take 6 years for all I care).

_______________________
To end, I thought I'd include the answers to an activity we did with the kids a few weeks ago as we plan out our new year .

Evelyn
My best memory of the year: Reading, losing teeth
My best idea of the year: Invent Idaho
I always say: Hi!
I am proud of: My reading skills
My friends are: Saige, Dad, Mom, Family
I like to spend my time: Reading, TV, Computer
My favorite animal: Octopus
My favorite book: Any good chapter book
My favorite color: Red
My favorite food: Stromboli
My favorite song: Hushabye Mountain
This next year I want to learn: To make clay bowls or statues
This next year I want to see: The ocean
This next year I want to get better at: Reading

Adalie
My best memory of the year: Secret lost tooth (lost tooth without realizing it)
My best idea of the year: To be an inventor
I always say: I want to invent powers
I am proud of: When I make the right choices
My friends are: Skyler, Lekiah, Avery
I like to spend my time: Cuddling
My favorite animal: (Blank)
My favorite book: Frozen
My favorite color: Pink
My favorite food: "Cheesiks" (Cheesz-it crackers)
My favorite song: Let it go
This next year I want to learn: To invent
This next year I want to see: Ocean
This next year I want to get better at: Inventing

Jackson
My best memory of the year: (Blank)
My best idea of the year: (Blank)
I always say: Can I help?
I am proud of: Making goals
My friends are: Micah, Skyler, Lizzy
I like to spend my time: Doing chores
My favorite animal: Lion
My favorite book: Construction
My favorite color: Blue
My favorite food: Ravioli
My favorite song: Do as I'm doing
This next year I want to learn: To build
This next year I want to see: The ocean
This next year I want to get better at: Basketball

Maren
My best memory of the year: "I don't have memories"
My best idea of the year: Playing
I always say: Thank you
I am proud of: I'm a good player
My friends are: Dad
I like to spend my time: Playing
My favorite animal: Horses because they are beautiful and pigs because they taste good
My favorite book: (Blank)
My favorite color: Red
My favorite food: Ice cream
My favorite song: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
This next year I want to learn: To plant flowers and smell them
This next year I want to see: A dragon
This next year I want to get better at: Running so I can run with Daddy

A Catch-up Post That Belongs in 2015

So...the title is a not-so-subtle reminder to myself for when I compile the printed version of The Hazard Chronicles. Also, there is a lot to write about here. I'll probably touch on some things and then revisit them later. Other things will be stand-alone pieces. Basically, I have a bunch of stuff I want to write about and I need to get it out before it is lost.

“I Liked Not Knowing”

This year, Christmas lost a little bit of its magic for Evelyn. It started with Widget, our elf on the shelf. Now, I realize that lots of people use these elves for lots of things, but in our home Widget is little more than a fun game of hide-and-seek that the kids get to play every morning. Still, it’s a fun tradition. Well, one day Evelyn asked to speak with Rachel privately in her room, and pretty much said “I’m not buying it any more” when it came to Widget. This was okay, and we simply brought Evelyn in on the secret by making her the official “Widget Hider.” She did a fantastic job.

But then, on Christmas Eve, Evelyn started asking other questions. “I know that St. Nicholas is a legend, and that legends are partly true and partly not. So, how does Santa actually work? I’m asking because I don’t believe in flying reindeer or elves in the North Pole any more, but somehow we still get presents each year in our stockings, so Santa must be real in some way” Another one (I can’t remember if she asked this or if was in a book she read) was the question “Why does Santa give good toys to rich kids even when they’re bad, and cheap toys to poor kids, even when they’re good?”

As a parent, I have mixed feelings about these questions. First of all, I am proud beyond belief at the level of critical thinking involved in their formulation. These aren’t your standard “how does a fat man get down the chimney” questions, and cop-outs like “magic” don’t do justice to the amount of thought she had put into it. I wasn’t about to do that to her. At the same time, it was sad to see a fun and comforting childhood belief being lost. After talking with Rachel, I took Evelyn aside and we did some research together about the actual history of St. Nicholas. Then we looked at different Santa traditions around the world. As we did this, I sadly watched as she started putting things together. Finally, she drew her own conclusion: Since St. Nick died a long time ago, and since all Santas seem to be different depending on time and place, the simplest explanation is that Santa Claus is actually a fictional character played by none other than the kids' parents. She came up with it on her own… and I reluctantly confirmed her theory.

But what then? That was the hardest part, because she looked at me very seriously and then made two statements that caused me to stagger a little bit. The first was said with suppressed tears- “I liked not knowing.” And the second, almost with anger- “Now, all that’s left of Santa is a story that parents use to get their kids to be good.” Woah. As far as I know, Rachel and I have always downplayed the “you better watch out” aspect of Santa (it seems like a cheap trick to us), but I guess cultural influences were not enough to override our careful parenting.

To the first statement, “I liked not knowing,” I had no response other than to give her a big hug and tell her that I also missed not-knowing things sometimes. Childhood traditions can be fun and comforting and in a way, magical. It’s hard sometimes to see things for how they actually are, and I think this is the reason that many kids keep believing in Santa despite the nagging problems that keep getting pushed to the back of their minds. This is especially easy sometimes when they are surrounded by adults and media which keep coming up with answers that “work” for them…at least for a while. But yeah, I can see how letting go of all that can be hard. I’ve been there. But I'm also glad in a way, because this is a very benign way for her to experience this sort of disappointment for the first time that will probably occur repeatedly throughout her life regarding different things.

The second statement was the one that made me even sadder though, because to me, I see the story of Santa as a wonderful representation of some very worthwhile ideas. I guess Evelyn’s cynicism is somewhat natural, and is probably even fueled in part by the veil of secrecy and forced literalness that parents put over the whole narrative. But underneath all that is a fabulous story about altruism, generosity, empathy, and the power of the imagination. The story is also a tradition that binds children and families together around the world. For me, the complex meanings of the Santa story go far beyond elves and reindeer, and it was hard to watch Evelyn’s knee-jerk response of simply dismissing all of this out of hand. And so we talked. We talked about how a lot of stories have great value even if they aren’t necessarily true. We talked about how maybe the best way of addressing the ideas represented in the story are through literary devices like myths or symbols (no, I didn’t use the term “literary device.”). We talked for a long time, and in the end Evelyn came out saying she would think about it some more. I was content to leave it at that.

But the story isn’t over yet. Because a few days later, as the kids were sitting at the table and talking, someone mentioned Santa Claus. I could tell Evelyn was thinking hard about whether or not she should join the conversation. And then she looked at Addy, and with a total sincerity that I don’t think she could fake, she said- “I believe in Santa.”

And then she looked at me, and smiled. And I smiled back, because I took her at her word. I think she does, in the same way that I do, maintain some belief in the idea of Santa. And I hope that this more mature kind of belief develops into its own kind of magic for her, as it has for me. I think it will. Some people call this kind of belief “faith,” and I would probably agree with that. Either way, it is something that I think is an important part of every Christmas season, and something that will enrich her life for years to come.

Invent Idaho

Ok- this is a short one, and something I will probably revisit. I need to mention it though because right now we are in the thick of it. "Invent Idaho" is a project that is ostensibly for the children in Evelyn's second grade class. The reality of it though, is that the scope and depth that the teacher is attacking this project is far, FAR beyond what a second grader can do on their own. In short, their performance on the project is almost totally dependent on the amount of time, effort, and money that parents are willing to put into in. It's homework for Mom and Dad. Nothing more.

Could it be that Evelyn is just slower than the other kids in her class? I don't think so- her report card says she is "exemplary" and "demonstrates an advanced understanding of concepts, skills and processes, exceeding all expectations" in every area except for handwriting. Also, the most recent email we received from her teacher was a link for a place that does 3D printing and custom machinery of parts for us to use when making the required working prototypes of the kid's inventions...I'm pretty sure the kids didn't get that email. Are these sorts of expectations really reasonable for an average 7-year-old? I don't think so.

The thing is that Evelyn will do well on this, mostly because her parents care enough and have the resources to help her (no 3D printing though...there has to be limits somewhere). I have to acknowledge that not all kids have these advantages though, and it doesn't seem fair to me that so much time and such a large portion of a student's evaluation (and quieter self-evaluations)- especially in 2nd grade- stem from things that are mostly beyond their control. I mean yeah- it's a good way to set kids up for success. But it's also a good way to set them up for failure. Is it worth it at this age? I'm not so sure. Save that for the future.

Media

In the same way that "we are what we eat," I think there is some truth to the idea that "We are the media we consume," including books, news, music, podcasts, movies, classes, etc. I think it would be interesting to see what other people are looking at. I also contemplated putting a 2015 list up of what I had read, watched, or listened to. In the end, I decided this would probably come off as either self-serving or irrelevant, so I decided not to. If you are interested though, then let me know. I also want to put out a call for recommendations. I really like things that challenge the way I think about things, or that force me to develop insight that I might not have had before. To that end, I'll say that in general I tend to be moderately liberal in politics and religion, I really like science, and I think that human nature (individuals or groups) is one of the most fascinating subjects on the planet. I also like sitting down with a good, entertaining novel or movie, but have a hard time getting into most hard-core sci-fi, fantasy, or super hero stuff. Right now, my individual interests are in the humanities and in ancient civilizations.

So there you go...recommend something and I will probably read it, listen to it, or watch it. Thanks.

A Statement by Jack

This was funny. It will be funnier if you have seen the movie "Inside Out."

Jack: "Evelyn does not have friendship island. She only has meanie pants island."

Sometimes there is truth to that, by the way. Let's just say that the volume and frustration level in our home is very dependent right now on Evelyn's mood. Most of the time this is a positive thing. Sometimes it's not.

Gingerbread Houses

The winners: Team B! Great job guys! I think we need to have ornaments like this for all the winners to put on their trees during Christmas. They can give them up next year to the new winners.

Team B- The Winners

Team A- we made a good effort

School Pictures- 2015!

Christmas in pictures. Also- PLEASE VOTE on the gingerbread houses- leave a comment on the blog of on facebook about your favorite. Thank you.

For Christmas, my Mom and Dad and Courtney came up to our house. This is at a local restaurant we went to on the first night they were here

After eating at the restaurant we got on this boat and traveled across Lake Coeur d'Alene to the North Pole (even though we were technically traveling south--I'm not sure how that works). In the North Pole we saw Santa and it turns out that all of our kids are on the nice list. It was a fun night.

We have a lot of snow up here right now, and sledding was a popular activity. It started out with the run down the stairs that Jackson and Grandpa made. 

The nearby golf course had some better hills

On Christmas Eve we had a big dinner before sending the kids off to bed. Also, Rachel interpreted a Christmas Eve church service that night, and my Mom/Dad/Courtney got to go watch her.

Christmas Morning before opening presents 

Evelyn at the new piano we got.

Just goofing around with their new underwear

Rachel worked hard this year to make stockings. They turned out great! These will be in our family for many years.

This was actually before Christmas, but we didn't put pictures up yet. Rachel has spent hours this year ringing the Salvation Army bell with each of our kids. Unfortunately I could not find a picture of Addy. Of all the kids, Jackson got the most into it, and I am sure he set a record for how much he collected. Afterword, we were walking around Walmart and he would go up to random strangers and ask them if they saw him ringing the bell. If they said no, he would say "Oh. That's too bad. It was pretty awesome," and then just walk away. It made me smile.

Gingerbread house contest- Please vote by leaving a comment in the blog or on Facebook. Thank you.

Gingerbread House A: Traditional log cabin in the forest. Rock chimney, snowman and firepit in the front. A skating rink and lamp pole round it out.

Gingerbread House B: Modern high-rise with roof-top garden, walkway, and landscaped gardens including stream.

Christmas Letter

This morning I decided that we should do a family Christmas letter. I figured I'd do it as a poem, just to make things a little more interesting. Here's the result. Enjoy!

-*-

I sit by the window and watch all the snow

And think of a time not too distant ago

When my mom wrote a letter, but also a poem

That gave a brief update of affairs in the home

And thinking of this, I had the ambition

To try and keep up this amusing tradition

Now, I’m not quite as good as my mother at this

So I hope you’ll forgive me if things don’t quite rhyme or keep time

Or fall nicely in line.

But here goes, I will try, if you will not dismiss

The honest attempts of poetic design

To start with I’ll talk about me, and I pray

You’ll forgive this brief egotistical bray

But the truth is that I’ve been doing quite good

In all areas where my interests have stood

From rock climbing, (this year I did five thirteen!)

To philosophy courses and Saint Augustine

Besides this, I play every week in a band

Lead electric guitar is the place where I stand

And as far as career goes, I’m gonna’ be honest

I’m a pretty good dentist, and now have my own office

This state of affairs represents a promotion

And I’ve got to admit, caused elated emotions

In short, things are good, in fact couldn’t be better

So I think it is time to move on in this letter

As for Rachel, who I will always hold dear

It was fun to look back this decennial year

On all of the wonderful times that we’ve had

While at the same time thanking my mom and my dad

For they offered to take all the kids on their own

So that Rachel and I could spend time all alone

At nighttime we stayed in a lakeside chateau

And by day found adventure in North Idaho

I surely got lucky with her as my wife

To have and to hold as we’re dancing through life.

Now I’m changing things up a little bit here

Because as I read this, it sounds to my ear

A bit too much “Seussian,” and I have to admit

That it makes me a little bit tired of it

So I think that I’ll bid the good doctor goodbye

And maybe give William Shakespere a try

So now we can turn back to Rachel again

Upon a new pastime, her fine tastes did alight

The objective, not easy, but worth all the pain

To experience life from the seat of a bike

She rides with a passion unmatched by her foes

With the wind in her hair, her legs turning sore

But ever upward and onward she goes

Racing at times fifty miles, or more

In her career too, she's held high in esteem

And she’s gotten to work in some prominent venues

Because of her skill, opportunities gleam

She interprets her way to Alaska, by cruise

And now on to Evelyn, the eldest of kin

She’s tall for her age, with more wit

She lives in a world of books and of pens

And is smarter than she will admit

She is also an artist, and lives with the aim

To work in a studio when ere’ chance arrives

Art camp even gave her a chance at acclaim

At least among other young children her size

As for Addy, she is second to none

When cuddles are high in demand

And I can be sure that she’ll be the one

When I want to hold somebody’s hand

She’s learning to read and does well in school

With her teachers she’s surely a star

Her shortcomings, few, her faults miniscule

I have no doubt that she’ll go far

As I write I am feeling myself getting tired

And words are escaping my mind

I can’t keep the structure much more that’s required

So I’ll switch to limerickian rhyme

So next up is Jackson, my guy

Who many mistake for small fry

But put him in the game

And watch people exclaim

He’s one to exemplify

‘Cause Jack just knows that he’s good

Confidence runs in his blood

Persistence and grit

Are the traits he transmits

Especially when misunderstood

Basketball is becoming his sport

Even though he’s really quite short

His foot-shuffling trademark

Is the talk of the ballpark

But it doesn’t change skill on the court

This limerick stuff gets old fast

I need to rethink my attack

When it comes to good taste

Robert Frost is a case

Who’s rhyming schemes go unsurpassed

My Maren, little fire child

One day sweet, the next day wild

But she knows how to win me o’er

With nothing but a simple smile

In preschool she has lots of friends

To whom her pleasantness extends

Adult and child alike, it’s true

That age, her loveliness transcends

And finally little Lindsey dear

Who says some words, but not too clear

She walks around the house and then

Lights up the room with childish cheer

And when a soft thing she doth spy

A blanket or pillow standing by

Bends at the hips and plants her face

Her need to cuddle gratified

So that’s a wrap, I won’t rewrite

This poem- I take preemptive right

To call the day, and expedite

The process for a copyright.

On second thought, I’ll be polite

Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night.

Can I just say I am looking forward to a small break next week?

As a kid, I remember all the grown-ups talking about how busy the holiday season could get. I never quite understood this. Busy? Why on earth would you be busy? It's just a great time to relax and enjoy family and big meals and parties and open presents and play and stuff, right? Well, it turns out that someone was actually in charge of organizing all those things. It also turns out that the house doesn't magically clean up after itself when these things are over.

Who knew?

On top of all the holiday stuff, work has been really busy and I rarely get a chance to sit down during the day by myself. Lately, I have been seeing more patients in a single day than I am used to seeing in any given week. We have also had at least one social engagement every day since last Wednesday. This is all really good for now and I'm glad that so much is happening in so many different areas, but it's also demanding. Between work and home I do not think it is a lifestyle I could sustain for the long term. I am looking forward to being able to just sit and read a book with my kids without thoughts running through my head of how I can expedite their bedtime so that I can finish up with the daily chores.

Thankfully, we are almost there. We have gone to all the parties. We have wrapped most of the presents. We have spent all our money (not really, but it seems like it). And we have had a lot of fun doing these things. But now it is time to just breathe a huge sigh of relief, cuddle up under a blanket with a warm cup of hot chocolate, turn on some classic Bing Crosby, and wait for Christmas to arrive.

Oh, how I love this season.

Setting up the tree was a little more difficult than we thought.

Sorry for the dark picture. This was a gingerbread house party that Rachel did at our home.

Boxes, boxes, and more boxes. We did most of our shopping online this year. I think we are up to around 20 door deliveries to our house in just the last week and a half.

This is a preview of a project Rachel has been working on. She has more patience than I do.

This was really sweet. With the dry winter weather, Maren's eczema has really flared up. When I went down to kiss her goodnight a few days ago, she was already asleep. This note from Evelyn was under her arm though. Nobody asked her to write it or even expected her to notice Maren's hardships. She is so thoughtful.

Dear Maren,
I love you. You are a good sister! I hope you get well soon. You are cute. I know about your legs. I know they are painful. I hope they get well soon!
-Evelyn

Well...that's all we've got. Unfortunately we didn't take many pictures of all the stuff we did. I guess you just had to be there.

Have a great week!

Well, it's been another crazy weekend with lots and lots of driving. It was worth it though, because we went down to Utah again and got to see a lot of family. Allison and Clayson were blessing their baby at church, so we went to that and then had a big breakfast afterwards. We also got a lot of good talking time in and we went to a trampoline place with Griffin and Courtney. It was a good weekend.

Also, I have been promising for a long time to post pictures of our new furniture, so for those who care, here it is:

Leather furniture. Guitar in the corner. Projector screen pulls down from behind curtains for movie nights.

Another view. I love walking into my house- it feels so warm and inviting now.

Rachel worked hard on these shelves. Every piece is significant.

Dining room. I feel like we need a bigger art-piece for the head of the table.

Leather chairs and benches. Bar Stools have become very useful for crafts/cooking/informal meals.

This is the only picture I have from our weekend. Rachel has a bunch on her phone...but her phone at Qdoba right now...in Missoula. I'll put some more up when I can. Maybe.

Thanksgiving

The house is quiet. Rachel is at a book club. I just read two chapters of "Ms. Beard is Weird," and now the kids are in bed and acting really well behaved. They must be tired. The mess from dinner is still sitting on our table, but writing this is more important to me right now than cleaning. When Rach gets home we will probably read our book together (currently reading The Martian) while the other person cleans, and then maybe talk for a while about our days or the news or her book club or something, and then finish off our night with an episode of The West Wing. It's a pretty typical night for us.

This last week has been a whirlwind and it is hard to know where to start. At the same time, I feel like I am sort of at a loss of what to write about, since it seems like so much more has happened than what I can remember. I think that in my last post I mentioned that we were heading down to Utah for Thanksgiving, so I guess I'll start there.

We drove to Rexburg after I got done with work on Wednesday, and then finished our trip to Sandy early the next morning.

Thursday was mostly a sit-around-and-relax day, since Wendy had to work at Target.

On Friday I got up early, and since nobody else was awake yet, I went shopping. I didn't buy anything, but I did take myself out to breakfast at Ihop. It was a good morning. Later that afternoon we had our Thanksgiving meal at Wendy's house with all of Rachel's family in attendance.

Saturday morning, Rachel and I went to Mimi's for breakfast where we met up with Jill and Lee. We had a good conversation with them and it was fun to catch up with each other. Later that day we went to Layton where we got a professional picture taken with the whole Almond side of the family, and then hung out for several hours at Shannon's house. That evening, Rachel and I (and the kids) went to my Grandma and Grandpa's home in Draper and caught up with them, as well as with my aunt Natalie and some of her kids. They had all just returned from a trip to Rio where my cousin had just finished serving an LDS mission, and it was neat to hear about their experiences. I'll tell you what- if I am anywhere near as active as my grandma and grandpa are when I am their age, then I will consider myself a very fortunate man!

We went to church on Sunday with Wendy, and then hung out some more at her house. That afternoon we drove up to Logan where we had dinner with my family. It was great seeing them, and we had a good evening together. That night, we stayed at Griffin and Ashland's house (my brother), and then spent the next morning talking with Ashland. Around lunch time we packed the kids in the car and drove the 9 hours home in one shot. It was a good drive. Our kids are good travelers.

...Which is a good thing, because this next week we are doing it all over again.

In short, lots of family, lots of driving, lots of food, lots of talking, and lots of fun.

Enjoy the pictures!

They sure like their cousin Tirza

Pizza at Shannon's house

I think Rachel and I need more sleep

This was very sad. Froggy (the stuffed animal on the bottom left) has, for all intents and purposes, become a member of the family. He is Jackson's best friend. Well, unfortunately for him, he got stuck in the microwave on a waxed plate, and burned his legs off. Our kids were devastated. Being the totally empathetic dad that I am, I took a picture of their misery. It really was very sad, and they got lots of hugs.

Allison and Gracie are soooo talented.